How are you wired for pleasure? As you read about the Erotic Blueprint Types™, which one fits you? Which sounds like your partner or lover? Is there more than one?
Energetic
- Turn-ons: Space. Longing. Presence. Eye-gazing. Light or hovering touch. If you are Energetic, you feel more with less touch, more space. You love the sacredness of sex. You love crystals, sound baths, Tantra, Kundalini, Yoga, and Meditation. These are not just spiritual, but sexy to you!
- Superpowers: You love tease and anticipation. You need full presence from your partners (and yourself!). You are super sensitive, intuitive, and an empath. You can feel what your partner is feeling. You can play with erotic energy and experience orgasms with your will and awareness alone, without touch. You love and feel the sacredness in sex, and can achieve deep connection and intimacy.
- Shadows: Sense of superiority or hierarchy: you sometimes feel you are more spiritual than others and that your approach to sex is more enlightened and “better” than the other Blueprints. You sometimes suddenly shut down if you feel your partner is distracted or not fully present, or if arousal and pleasure start to feel too intense. You can become overwhelmed with too much touch or stimulation, and you may need pauses with space and time to feel what has been happening, before you can enjoy more.
Sensual
- Turn-ons: You love pleasure in all of the senses: music, beautiful surroundings, luxury, textures, essential oils, water, delicious food, flowers, dancing, romance, massage, lingering, contouring touch. You crave cuddling, snuggling, skin-to-skin contact, romantic kissing, dancing together, savoring, and being lost in the pleasure of the moment.
- Superpowers: Sensuals bring the romance and beauty to sex. You know how to feast all the senses, and have exquisite attention to detail, a love of sumptuous food, music, gorgeous natural surroundings, elegance, and luxury. You can have full-body orgasms when all of your senses are alight.
- Shadows: You need to fully relax and drop into your body before you can feel pleasure or have sex. That means you may need extra time for transitions, because if you try to come to sexual play before you’re ready, you get stuck in your head and have trouble feeling or getting aroused. Because you are attuned in all your senses, you notice if something is “wrong” in the environment (too hot, too cold, sock on the floor, wrong song, music too loud, etc.), and that can keep you from being able to feel pleasure and have sex. You may also get stuck in your head with worries: I’m taking too long, are they even enjoying this? Do I look okay? Etc.
Sexual
- Turn-ons: Nakedness, genital touch, penetration, and orgasm, along with clear and explicit sexual language. This is the Blueprint we see most often represented in media, porn, etc. It’s the Blueprint our society tells us we “should” be, especially men.
- Superpowers: As a Sexual, you are simple and direct. Sex is easy and fun! You have very little shame, and generally have easy access to arousal and orgasm. As a Sexual, you need sex like you need air and water. Sex regulates your nervous system and helps you to feel like all is right with the world. You are turned on by certainty and frequency; it’s a need for you. Sexuals LOVE a “sure thing!”
- Shadow: As a Sexuals, you are very direct with touch, which can be alarming or feel demanding to your partners who may need more time to want physical connection. You may tend to go straight for genitals and can get very focused on “getting there” (orgasm). You sometimes have a narrow definition of sex as only “counting” if it’s about penetration, intercourse, and orgasm. You can feel confused or frustrated by the other Blueprints and feel like your kind of sex is “real” or “normal” sex, and they’re just too complicated. Women who are Sexuals may be in Shadow about wanting to be so direct, if you experienced slut-shaming earlier in your life, and you may need to reclaim your simple joy in direct, uncomplicated sexual connection.
Kinky
Turn-ons: If you’re Kinky, your turn-on is about breaking the rules with naughtiness, taboo, and the forbidden. You love playing with the edges and exploring what you can get away with (with consent as the key!).
Superpowers: Kinkyfolk are super creative, and find endless ways to play. You can experience tremendous healing and transformation through positive Kinky experiences and breaking your isolation by finding your Kinky community. Psychological Kink is all about mind games, creativity and imagination: role play, power dynamics, Domination and Submission, surrender, witnessing (exhibitionism and voyeurism, watching or being watched), primal play, etc. As long as you can create enthusiastic consent for it and imagine it, you can play with it in Psychological Kink. Sensation Kink is about intense sensations: restraints, rope bondage, spanking, flogging, scratching, heat and cold, all sorts of experiences and sensations that drop you into your body in a big way. Kinky people often combine psychological and sensation kinky play to create extraordinary erotic experiences together.
- Shadow: You may be in or have experienced deep, deep shame. You may be closeted or hiding and afraid to share your Kinky desires with your partner or even admit them to yourself. The great news about Kink is that once you can release the same and embrace your kinks, research shows that kinky people are among the happiest, most well-adjusted humans on the planet, with loving relationships and high self-esteem.
Shapeshifter
- Turn-ons: As a Shapeshifter, you thrive erotically on variety, adventure, novelty, contrast, and playing in all of the Blueprints! You love lots of sensation all at once, or shifting among the different Blueprints. You may want lots of hands on your body or a variety of partners, or to continually find and create new adventures if you are in a monogomous relationship.
- Superpowers: You are the Stradivarius of the Blueprints: you are erotically sophisticated, with an expansive erotic appetite and a delight for new experienes. You find pleasure and orgasm in many different ways. You find it easy to please partners of any Blueprint.
- Shadows: As a Shapeshifter, you may feel like you are too much, too complicated, too changeable and unpredictable. You may be an erotic People Pleaser, shapeshifting into your partner’s Blueprint, but then being afraid to ask for all of what you want, need, and desire. You may feel bored or starved because you never ask for all of what you want because you fear that no one would ever want to do that with or for you. Sometimes your complexity and changing needs can be confusing, to your partner and even to yourself.