Sex & Intimacy Coaching

It can be hard to ask for help with any area where you feel vulnerable: learning a new sport, changing the way you eat, managing depression or anxiety. But with these, you probably have at least an idea of what to expect when they arrive in a class or session.

Sex & Intimacy Coaching

It can be hard to ask for help with any area where you feel vulnerable: learning a new sport, changing the way you eat, managing depression or anxiety. But with these, you probably have at least an idea of what to expect when they arrive in a class or session.

But what happens when you realize you need help with sex?

Most of us have been conditioned to believe we should already know how to be great lovers and feel totally comfortable with our sexuality… even though most of us also never received any real sex education that included the idea of actually owning our own pleasure vs. performing for our partner, or that it’s okay to want sex that doesn’t look like the very narrow definition of “normal sex” most of us did learn about through friends or movies or porn (intercourse between one cis hetro man and one cis hetero woman, everybody has an orgasm, and you’re done!). A sex coach can help you find out what kind of sex you actually want (which may look very different from that narrow model), and acknowledge and release shame and blocks in your body and your belief systems, so you finally have permission and confidence to live your life from pleasure and create the kinds of safe, trusting, playful, pleasurable relationships and erotic experiences you’ve always wanted.

What is the difference between a sex therapist and a sex coach?

Sex therapists have training in therapy or counseling, and generally focus on looking at the past in order to understand and accept yourself in the present. Many therapeutic models focus on pathology: on what’s wrong, and how to fix it. You generally do the work with a therapist within the session time, and often work in an ongoing way over time.

Sex and intimacy coaches – myself included – have training in coaching, and focuses on what you want to create going forward, and how to get there. In my work, especially, the focus is on pleasure and health: what is good, what is whole, what is good and natural in your desires, your body, and your relationships, and how can you optimize the good so that you live your life from a place of resource, pleasure, and joy?

As a sex and intimacy coach, I’ve spent hundreds of hours in training and even more working with clients and their bodies, helping people feel safer, closer, and more connected to themselves and their partners (if they are in relationship). Much of my work centers on the Erotic Blueprints, which are a rich framework for expanding your understanding and definition of what “sex” is, that you are not broken or wrong in any way, and that in fact your desires are fundamentally good! Whether they are in the Energetic, Sensual, Sexual, Kinky, or Shapeshifter realm of sexuality.

I work somatically. That means I guide you in learning a sense of safety you may never have learned in your early life by finding deeper connection and trust in your own body, vs. just talking about past emotions or stories. Working in this way helps you to increase emotional awareness and your capacity to feel, receive, and give pleasure physically and emotionally, and create relationships based on trust, consent, integrity, and true acceptance.

As a coach (vs. a therapist), I work over time with my clients with a set container of time (generally four months, six months, or a full year). Before we begin our work together, I guide you in setting clear, achievable goals, getting specific and clear about how you will know when you have achieved them, and then giving you structure and accountability in reverse-engineering our sessions and your practices between sessions, so that you achieve those goals that you’ve committed to.

Notice the emphasis on what you do between sessions. My clients often experience big breakthroughs and ahas in direct work with me in sessions, but what I want for you is lasting results, and that comes from repetition and cultivation, actual embodied homework and practice sessions so that you rewire your body and your nervous system into new habits of pleasure, noticing sensations in your body and vulnerably speaking your truth, deeply and intimately connecting with yourself and others from a place of self-acceptance and self-discovery, and creating whole new pathways and superhighways of turn-on, delicious delight, and orgasmic expression.

But how do we do that? What happens in a session? What do you mean by “practices”?

As an Erotic Blueprints Lead Coach and Trainer and Certified Sexological Bodyworker, I am a teacher and guide, rather than a participant in your erotic growth and discovery. Much of my client work is done remotely, in online video sessions where I provide you with a practice space to safely talk about sex, ask questions you’ve never asked before, and get coaching help where you feel stuck or frozen because of shame or sex-negative conditioning from family, religion, or social conditioning. Because I’m a Somatic Sex Educator, I will help you notice what is happening in your body and ask you questions to help you bring into your awareness what may be unconscious, so you can release it and relax instead into more pleasure, joy, and ease.


Then, we work together to come up with homework you can do yourself or with your partner that support self-discovery, empathy, and expanding your communication and touch skills. You may be practicing finding arousal in a new way, talking about sex out loud in ways you’ve never dared before, or breathing and grounding as ways of letting go of performance anxiety, fear, or resentment when they come up. All of this means you are cultivating and actively creating the kind of satisfying, playful, truly present sexual experiences you actually want, with the one(s) you love most (including yourself, if you are single!).


Different sex coaches have different areas of expertise. In my case, I specialize in working with long term couples, introducing safe and fun ways to explore kink in Conscious Kink Coaching, supporting people in alternative relationship styles (ethical non-monogamy and polyamory), and Love After 50 – finding love and new heights of sexual exploration and ecstatic experiences at any age.

If you already know you are interested in working with me in my private coaching, apply now! If you’d like to learn more about my workshops and events, visit my event page at: Isn’t it time you got the expert help you need, to finally have the sex life you’ve been dreaming of? I’m here to help!

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